Patience in homeschooling

I've had quite a few people tell me lately they would like to home school but don't have the patience for it. It's actually a lot easier than you think. Don't get me wrong it's hard, but so is raising kids. One thing I've come to learn is that you'll never get better at having patience if you're always avoiding situations that require you to use it. Some people might be born with a knack for patience but that's not the majority of us. So my advice to you is to not let your lack of patience hold you back from the wonderful blessings you can receive through home schooling. You would be absolutely amazed by the things you learn about yourself and your children through having them at home more. I'll give you one example. It's come to my attention recently how much my relationship with my daughter has suffered by having her in a public school (at no fault of the school). Due to her "ADHD" she can take quite a while to do some things because she loses focus easily. For example, I would have to harp on her all morning long just to get her to change her clothes, or get her back pack, just to name a few. Getting her to do homework was like pulling teeth. She didn't want to do it and her mind would always be wandering. It would take her 10 minutes just to write her name even though she had done it 100 times before. It took us almost two hours every night just to do four pages of homework (which ended up turning into eight by the end of kindergarten). So, we often did homework a few hours at night and about an hour in the morning. I was always so frustrated at her and at the endless piles of homework. Sadly, I got to the point of irritation where it bothered me for her to even talk to me. The way she hugged or kissed me even got on my nerves. It wasn't until I home schooled for about two months that I realized what had happened and that it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't be this way and there was something terribly wrong with it. The few hours I had of contact with her those five days every week was spent in irritation, frustration, and total dislike of the situation. How could something that was supposed to be the best thing for my daughter be the worst thing for my family. I'm happy to report that my overall frustration and irritation has ceased and I am once again enjoying her hugs and kisses and even asking for them. Bringing my daughter home was the best thing I have ever done for us. This is only one example of the many blessings our family has received by homeschooling. Another perk is I don't yell at my kids hardly anymore. I do have my bad days once in a while, but they are few and far in between. So if you are being inspired or touched by the spirit somehow to home school, please don't let any doubts or fears get in the way. What we lack in, Heavenly Father will make up for. Your family will only be blessed and your relationships with your children and between your children will only grow closer. I'm grateful for my Heavenly Father who knows my family and knows what is best for us. I know as I put my trust in Him He will lead me down the path He would have me go and my life and the lives of my family will be blessed more than I could ever imagine. Trust Him, He loves you and your family and wants to bless you with the blessings from Heaven.

Fun, Fun

A couple of weeks ago I bought playdough for the kids to use for the art portion of our schooling. We had tons of fun making cool creations. These are some pictures of our activity.

Scripture

3 Nephi 13:32-33 "For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."

The last few years of my life I have often pondered on this scripture. I seem to make a habit of doing really well in the doctrinal basics only to become comfortable and the next thing I know I'm hardly doing them at all. I would think after having gone through this so many times I would finally learn. Lately, this scripture has taken on more of a personal meaning to me. I've always known that as long as I am obeying the commandments I'll be blessed, as well as my family. But, I think I have finally learned how this concept applies to my life. Seth and I have been talking a lot about our future and the direction we want to take with our family and his work. I can choose to help build our future as a family and for myself, or I can help hinder it. We can do all the things we need to to get where we want to go, but without the guidance of our Father in Heaven we will end up basically nowhere. Sure there are things I want to get accomplished, but I want to make sure they are in line with the plans that our Father has laid out for us. I truly feel in my heart that if I put Him first in all things He will guide us and bless us and we'll be able to accomplish things we could have never done on our own. He has so many blessings he wants to give us but we have to ask him first. At this point in my life I don't feel that I have done all I can do to be worthy of those blessings. I want to try harder and even though I won't always succeed I will know I have done my best. I'm tired of wading through this life being comfortable doing nothing. Through my soul searching these last few months I have received a new conviction of the love my Father has for me and my family and for how much He wants us to succeed in our lives and in raising our children. I know that if I put Him first in all I do that my family will be greatly blessed and that we can have a home where the spirit can dwell always. It won't be easy, but I am determined to turn my house into a home where my family can be at rest from the conflicts of the world and were we can have hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Change

Well, I was keeping track of how much the printer paper and ink cost for the first month. $80, can you believe that. I read throughout the web how much cheaper it was to do your own curriculum. $80/month for 12 months (we're doing year around) comes to $960/year. Ouch!!! That is way more expensive than some curriculum you can buy, even for three kids. So, I got to thinking. If I bought five workbooks for each kid at $15 a piece that comes to $225. If I bought another round (which I'm sure I will) it would only come to $450. That's less than half the cost of paper and ink alone. So, I decided to buy workbooks for things like math, reading, phonics and use textbooks for social studies and science. I also got Rebeka a handwriting book that includes cursive which I've already begun to teach her. I also got two workbooks for Jacob. I bought the workbooks at Amazon.com except for the phonics book. My total was only $49.97 with no tax and free shipping. I was thoroughly proud of myself for finding such a great deal. The cool thing is these workbooks contain over 300 pages each. That makes it an even greater deal. I don't have any workbooks for Jayson, but I do still print out things for him to do. Mostly it's just coloring easy preschool things. Rebeka and Jacob love their workbooks and we always end up doing extra pages. I still like to do unit studies once in awhile and we always start out with a prayer and bible stories. We're also reading Charlotte's Web. For now what we do seems to be working really well. The great thing about homeschooling though is that when it doesn't work so well anymore I can always change things up a bit.

Progress

Rebeka was not reading very well in school. Her strength does not lie in memorization. She was being taught how to read by memorizing lots of words. Unfortunately she was not reading well at all. I feel that in order to read, one needs to know how words are made and why letters sound the way they do. I was not taught these rules so I at the moment could not teach them to her. I came across an A Beka homeschooling phonics book at Deseret Industries. Thankfully, only the first few pages had been used and there wasn't anything on them that she didn't already know. This workbook includes all of the spelling rules and special sounds. Wow, has it made a difference. We have been using this book for two weeks now and she can finally read. When she comes upon a word she doesn't know I say something to her like 'What's the rule when there is an e on the end of a word' and she'll tell me. She'll then mentally or with her finger mark all of her vowels and sound out the word correctly. She has caught on so well and I'm so proud of her for her accomplishments. She is quickly rolling through her learning and sometimes I wonder if her behavioral problems were 1. She couldn't read and 2. She was bored out of her mind. There are still some things she struggles with. She can't be good at everything but I'm thankful I'm able to take the time with her that she needs so she can properly understand. It's exciting to watch her learn and grow and increase her knowledge and understanding. She has a love for learning and I pray she'll always maintain that love as she goes through her life.

Deseret Industries

If you're ever looking for some books you can hold on to check out DI. I got these books there for a dollar a piece. That's pretty hard to beat.

What's Been Happening

We have been studying the creation this week and today we talked about the water that was created above the earth. We made these cotton ball clouds and the kids had tons of fun.




This is a picture of our water cycle books.




Here they used water colors to paint the Earth.




These are their creation books.




Here are some other activities we've done.

The children are having a great time with homeschooling. Besides crafts they do lots of worksheets and some book work. Rebeka loves doing worksheets. Some days I have to put a limit on her because she wears me out :) Jacob loves hands on things as well as Jayson so I use both learning styles. So far none of the children seem to be auditory learners like I am (although I'm visual too). If I start talking to much they start ignoring me so they keep me in check.

Embarrassing Moment

Well, I think I've lived through the most embarrassing moment of my life. Yesterday at church was the primary program. Rebeka was at home with Seth and James and I had Jacob and Jayson with me. About half way through the program I saw Jacob telling one of the teachers he needed to go potty. She took him and I was thinking 'maybe I should go help'. I decided not to since Jayson was asleep in my lap. I figured she would be o.k. helping him. So they come back and Jacob keeps coming to me telling me his pants won't stay up. He's carrying them high like Steve Urkul would and I have no clue why. Well, he went back up towards his teacher again and stops in the middle of the isle (this is about four pews short of the front). He has his pants pulled as high as they could go and is standing there with his legs spread apart as far as they could go too. I'm thinking to myself 'what in the world is he doing'. Then to my horror a puddle forms in the middle of his legs on the carpet. He just PEED. AAGGGGHHHHH!!!!! People are looking at me with shock on their faces and I try to just ignore them. Jacob comes back to me and says "Mommy, I peed!" Just then the closing prayer starts and I have to keep my hand over Jacob's mouth because he's keeps trying to tell me he peed. As soon as the prayer ends Sis. Haskett (about 35 with four kids, sweetest in the world) comes up to me and asks me what she can do to help. I gave her wipes and she went and cleaned it up. Only she would be so kind as to do something like that. Needless to say I thanked her and then we went home. I tried my best to not feel any embarrassment. If this happened two years ago I wouldn't have shown my face in church for at least two weeks. This incident by far tops my list of most embarrassing moments.

Quote

"I feel to warn you that one of the chief means of misleading our youth and destroying the family unit is our educational institutions. There is more than one reason why the Church is advising our youth to attend colleges close to their homes where institutes of religion are available. It gives the parents the opportunity to stay close to their children, and if they become alerted and informed, these parents can help expose the deceptions of men like Sigmund Freud, Charles Darwin, John Dewey, John Keynes and others. There are much worse things today that can happen to a child than not getting a full education. In fact, some of the worst things have happened to our children while attending colleges led by administrators who wink at subversion and amorality.

Said Karl G. Maeser, 'I would rather have my child exposed to smallpox, typhus fever, cholera or other malignant and deadly diseases than to the degrading influence of a corrupt teacher.' "

(Ezra Taft Benson, The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, 307

Divine Calling

I was reading an article from ldshomeschooling.org titled 'Are We Having Fun Yet?' The author talks about happiness. She quotes Joseph Smith as saying "happiness is the object and design of our existence." As I continued reading the article she stated this quote by President Benson. "Mothers, teach your children the gospel in the home . . . this is the most effective teaching that your chldren will ever receive. This is the Lord's way of teaching. The Church cannot teach like you can. The school cannot. The day-care center cannot. But you can, and the Lord will sustain. Your children will remember your teachings forever. . . Mothers, this kind of heavenly, motherly teaching takes time--lots of time. It cannot be done effectively part-time. It must be done all the time in order to save and exalt your children. This is your divine calling." (President Ezra Taft Benson, Fireside for Parents, Feb 22, 1987). I have been trying to decide this last couple of weeks if I want to include gospel studies in with homeschooling. I still need to pray about it, but I really like this quote. It's true that the church, schools, daycare, or anyone else cannot teach our children as well as we can. While they all care about our children one way or another (esp the church) no one does as much as us. No one on earth loves our children as much as we do. I think that is what makes the difference. We teach our children with absolute pure love. I know our Bishop's and other church leaders have a special love for us and our children, but we spend the most time with our children. We have a bond with our children that no one else has. I do feel that by having my children in school I am lucky if I get to even teach them part time. I truly believe that teaching them is not based on the time we have with them but the time they have in their entire day. Mornings were always rushed as was evenings with dinner, homework, and bed time. There just wasn't any extra time to sit down calmly and teach my children. The only time we had for that was Sunday. Sure, I definitely enjoyed having less responsibility, but I started feeling like I was missing out on something. Now I know what that was. My daughter. Just in a few weeks from being at school I was already losing out on knowing who she was. The teacher probably knew her better than I did at that point. This is not why I brought her home (I don't want to put her on ADHD medicine just so she can survive at school), but I realized this after the fact. I had also lost a lot of authority over her as her teacher 'knew best'. She would say to me "that's not what my teacher said" as we were doing homework. I know she doesn't get the full instructions due to her attention and comprehension issues, but I was getting tired of having to correct her. She just didn't believe me and I had to make her do it anyways. I bet this is why teenagers use the famous line "you don't even know me". Of course the parents don't. How can they when they only see them 5 hours a day and that's if they're not hanging out with their friends after school. This is also why we have the generational gap. Because the parents have no clue what's going on in their children's lives. I don't want to be that type of parent.

Rolling Along

Things are going amazing well with homeschooling. It's not as hard as some people think. The nice thing is I can take the time my children need to understand something instead of just having to move on. I can know where their weaknesses and strengths are. I'm looking forward to next year because I will start teaching Rebeka how to do independent studies. I feel it is important to know how to find answers to questions and research topics of interest. This is how I learn things all the time. I do a lot of research on the internet to become knowledgable about certain things in my everyday life. This skill has come in handy so many times as I have been able to apply it. It's also important to know how to weed out the bad and good information. These skills will help her immensely in college, if she chooses to go, with her studies. I've started to teach her cursive and having her use the letters she has learned with her normal printing. She has caught on very quickly and is eager to learn. I've read so many times from other homeschooling moms that the first year is the hardest. For me the hardest part isn't in teaching my children, but trying to decide which method to use. So far I'm pretty much eclectic. I use any method I want to teach a particular topic. I like doing unit studies for science, and worksheets/books for math, language arts, and social studies. I'm still trying to figure out how to teach U.S. history to Rebeka. I'm more on the high school level as far as how in depth I like to go, but obviously I can't do that with a first grader. The first year seems to just be a learning period for everyone. We're doing great and having fun and the three older kids look forward to school everyday and get very excited when they hear me declare, "It's time for school!"

Homeschool Part 2

Here's how this homeschooling idea got started. A few months ago I was soul searching. Trying to find out my place in the big scheme of things as a wife, mother, homemaker, and daughter of our Heavenly Father. I did a lot of research through the scriptures, homemaking articles and bloggs, the ensign and other church articles. I finally started to understand my place. One of the chords that really struck me was that it is my job (as well as my husbands) to teach our children. I pondered immensely on that and realized that I did not have the time with my daughter that I would like to take to teach her. She's gone for 7 hours a day only to come home, eat dinner, relax for a little while, do homework, and go to bed. That left me only two days a week to really teach her. Sure there are opportunities in every momment, but not to the extent I would like to take. I started to feel like public schooling was a government funded day care for older children. The government through teachers was taking more time to teach my children than I was. The sad thing is they would end up learning things before they could really understand them (lesbians, gays, sex, you get the picture). About two weeks ago I read an article in the newspaper of a state back east that talked about a father who was arrested for refusing to allow his kindergarten child to take home a book about lesbians. KINDERGARTEN!!! Our children are not safe anymore. They are learning the ways of Satan by being taught that this stuff is o.k., socially accepted, and bad if you don't conde these life styles. I remember in my highschool sex ed class my teacher wasn't allowed to talk about abstinence and you could get a free condom from the nurses office. The belief is that they're going to do it anyways so we might as well teach them how to do it safely. GARBAGE!!! These are not the values I want my children to be taught. Will I teach them about STD'S, protection, and birth control? Yes, when they are old enough, depending on the topic, to ask me questions about it and gain an understanding. Of course this would be younger than I would like, but I want them to know more than enough to make their own choices. Too many times we as parents say, "because I said so" without telling why. We think it doesn't matter, but they can't make a proper choice if we don't educate them so they think there's no harm and we're just overprotective. That's why our children rebel. I want my children armed with the knowledge to make their own choices, to decide their own path. I firmly believe that if they know the ins and outs, ups and downs, they will make the right choice. Who would want to drive up a hill knowing there is nothing on the other side but harm or even death. I know I wouldn't. There's also the problem of violence in the schools like shootings, drugs, stabbings, gang violence (which I was a victim of in 6th grade) and other issues. It's happening more and more. I know that anything could happen to anyone, but there's less of a chance at home. No, I'm not trying to shelter my children, but I would rather have them learn from the outside instead of being directly involved. Back on topic, Seth and I discussed this and brought to him all my points. He was excited to try it so the rest of this year will be my trial period. I have decided that I don't want to try to do it, I'm going to do it for all my children until they have graduated home schooling (around 17,18). I have a long term plan to do this. I feel it is my responsibility, and my obligation to teach my children. I have received confirmation from the Spirit, and I'll tell you I can count on one hand the times I have felt the Spirit burn so strong in my heart. My Father in Heaven has told me this is the plan he has for me and my children regarding their education. At times when the world seems to question me and Satan enters my mind I remind myself of the fire I felt I know once again this is what I am to do. You can argue logic all you want with me, but you can't argue with the Holy Ghost. So, on Monday, September 15th my journey begins. It won't be easy, but anything worth it in the end never is.

Homeschool Part 1

It's been a while since I've posted anything. So, here are some updates. I decided, after much research and strong feelings, I'm going to home school. Some people are supportive (thankfully my mom's one of them), and some people aren't. Some people have questions which I'm more than happy to answer, and some decide to give me a novel on their view of why it's a bad thing, and others simply don't care for one reason or another. Questions I get are things like, what about socialization or being a part of the real world. I haven't been asked much else yet, but I suspect as more people know the questions will start flowing in. I have nothing wrong with people asking questions esp. out of curiosity, but don't ask me just to make sure I'm not going to ruin my kids for life and they'll never amount to anything. I'm going to take some time to answer questions and state my reasons for doing this. About the socialization thing. I get that it's important to have friends, but school isn't the only place to do it. There's church, neighbors, and friends of mine who have kids. Rebeka's three best friends are from friends of mine and Seth's and she's know them for all her life. She has a very deep bond to them and they are her world. She doesn't get to see some of them very often, but talks about them all time. I believe it's more important to have friends who will stick with you forever through thick and thin then to have friends that come and go depending on their mood and peer pressure from others. This instill confidence, self-esteem and respect for her friends. These friends love her no matter how she talks, or how annoying she can be, or what she wears, or looks like. At school friends are more based on shallow tangible things. All some one has to do is mention that she doesn't like her shirt and I'll bet ya she'll lose a "friend" over that. I know that sounds extreme, but I hear it all the time and heard it growing up. Kids can be mean like that and can fall to peer pressure in a heart beat. She has lots of friends and acquaintances at church. She enjoys seeing them every Sunday and they blow her kisses and give her lots of hugs (the girls anyways). There are places like parks, family gatherings, home, church, the swimming pool, ect. that she will have plenty of opportunities to socialize. She'll have more opportunities outside of a school setting then she will inside. I'm sorry, but sitting at a desk for four hours and restricted group activities don't provide much in the way of socialization. Plus, she's learning how to socialize with children who don't know how to socialize either. It's not fun hearing your six year old daughter come home joking about poop and pee and sticking her bottom out. If that's the type of socialization my children are going to learn, NO THANKS. That isn't even as bad as other words that I'm sure she'd be bringing home eventually. Which, by the way, she could have been saying at school for a month before repeating it at home. As far as being a part of the real world, where in our entire lives are we going to be sitting in an age segragated classroom for six hours a day? NO WHERE! In all other places in the span of our lives we are always among people of different ages including college. So somehow my children are supposed to know how to get along with people of different ages when they grow up in the public school classroom. To me, that's a total oddity in our lives and is in no way preparing our children for the real world. I want my children to know how to communicate with an elderly person, and adult, a teenager, someone their own age, a toddler, and an infant. That's how the world is set up and that's what I want my children to be prepared for. I know someone out there is probably thinking about my teaching credentials which I have no degree for. Teachers don't know everything. They're learning right along with their students. Teachers aren't great in every subject they teach yet somehow they're allowed to get a degree. There are a lot of teachers that don't even have kids and have only been teaching for a year or two. That doesn't mean they know everything about children, how they learn esp. on an individual level, how to effectively discipline while still teaching 23 other kids. I've discovered that because of my daughter's "disabilities" (ADHD) she needs one on one time to focus,learn, and understand. This can not happen in a public school. She'd go to the resource room for two hours to get this one on one time while missing time in the classroom putting her further behind. I do not want to put her on medicine just so she can learn the way the teachers feel is the easiest for them. I feel that by having her at home getting tons of one on one time if she still can not focus to learn then and only then will I put her on medicine. The same goes for all my other children. I know that I can give her the time she needs to learn a subject before dragging her on to the next. The ironic thing is that for whatever reason she is not learning basic skills at school to do math, read, or write. I end up teaching her these things at home during homework time. These things she has learned from me, not the school. They don't have the time, nor capabilities to teach her things in her own way so she can understand. I have that time, no one else.

Empty Yesterdays

I was reading the August 2008 Ensign today and came across an article called, "May We So Live." It's the lesson for Home Teachers next month. As I was reading it I came across some paragraphs talking about doing something today. Just so you know, this article talks about death, frailty of life, and doing something today. It's a great article and rings very true in my life, esp. since I have experienced the death of my father. There was one particular paragraph that really stood out to me. It says, "How fragile life, how certain death. We do not know when we will be required to leave this mortal existence. And so I ask, "What are we doing with today?" If we live only for tomorrow, we'll eventually have a lot of empty yesterdays. Have we been guilty of declaring, "I've been thinking about making some course corrections in my life. I plan to take the first step--tomorrow?" With such thinking, tomorrow is forever. Such tomorrows rarely come unless we do something about them today." Wow, how true is that. I decided a few months ago that I don't have to be 40 or even 50 to be the person I want to be. Why can't I start working on it today so that by the time I'm thirty I'm already there. Of course, life doesn't always happen the way it's supposed to, but I can't just wait around waiting for it to magically happen overnight. That all of a sudden I'll have a beautiful inviting home, and be a wonderful wife and mother. It takes a lot of time to work on these things and I'd like to get there as soon as I can.

My Big Decision

Well, I've decided to do my own blog mostly as a way to sort through my thoughts and feelings. I'm not very good a keeping a journal so for now I feel this is the best way. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my life lately. I've realized I have a long way to go before I become who I want to be. I've also realized that getting there requires baby steps. "Line upon line, precept upon precept." I don't have to be perfect tomorrow to be worth anything. Heavenly Father didn't put me on this earth to become perfect. He put me here to learn and grow. So, I've been looking at all the things I do and how I do them. I've learned a lot about myself lately and my weaknesses. Now, I'm not being pessimistic in any way. I do have a lot of strengths, but it's the weaknesses I need to change or improve upon if I'm going to improve as a person. That all starts by seeing and admitting there needs to be a change. Wow, so the hardest part is over and I realize there's more to me than all my faults. The last few days I've been trying to keep in my mind the things I need to do better, or differently as I go about my day. For example, the way I treat my children and my tone of voice in talking with them. I admit I've let the daily pressures of raising a family get to me. I've been very stressed out lately yelling a lot. At this point I decided something has to change. I've been trying to talk softer, saying please and thank you more, and taking more time to listen. I've always been good about giving hugs, kisses, and lots of compliments, but I needed to do better. It's definitely been more peaceful in my home and I've been less stressed. They don't behave any better but the spirit can't change my home if I'm keeping him out.