Empty Yesterdays

I was reading the August 2008 Ensign today and came across an article called, "May We So Live." It's the lesson for Home Teachers next month. As I was reading it I came across some paragraphs talking about doing something today. Just so you know, this article talks about death, frailty of life, and doing something today. It's a great article and rings very true in my life, esp. since I have experienced the death of my father. There was one particular paragraph that really stood out to me. It says, "How fragile life, how certain death. We do not know when we will be required to leave this mortal existence. And so I ask, "What are we doing with today?" If we live only for tomorrow, we'll eventually have a lot of empty yesterdays. Have we been guilty of declaring, "I've been thinking about making some course corrections in my life. I plan to take the first step--tomorrow?" With such thinking, tomorrow is forever. Such tomorrows rarely come unless we do something about them today." Wow, how true is that. I decided a few months ago that I don't have to be 40 or even 50 to be the person I want to be. Why can't I start working on it today so that by the time I'm thirty I'm already there. Of course, life doesn't always happen the way it's supposed to, but I can't just wait around waiting for it to magically happen overnight. That all of a sudden I'll have a beautiful inviting home, and be a wonderful wife and mother. It takes a lot of time to work on these things and I'd like to get there as soon as I can.

My Big Decision

Well, I've decided to do my own blog mostly as a way to sort through my thoughts and feelings. I'm not very good a keeping a journal so for now I feel this is the best way. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my life lately. I've realized I have a long way to go before I become who I want to be. I've also realized that getting there requires baby steps. "Line upon line, precept upon precept." I don't have to be perfect tomorrow to be worth anything. Heavenly Father didn't put me on this earth to become perfect. He put me here to learn and grow. So, I've been looking at all the things I do and how I do them. I've learned a lot about myself lately and my weaknesses. Now, I'm not being pessimistic in any way. I do have a lot of strengths, but it's the weaknesses I need to change or improve upon if I'm going to improve as a person. That all starts by seeing and admitting there needs to be a change. Wow, so the hardest part is over and I realize there's more to me than all my faults. The last few days I've been trying to keep in my mind the things I need to do better, or differently as I go about my day. For example, the way I treat my children and my tone of voice in talking with them. I admit I've let the daily pressures of raising a family get to me. I've been very stressed out lately yelling a lot. At this point I decided something has to change. I've been trying to talk softer, saying please and thank you more, and taking more time to listen. I've always been good about giving hugs, kisses, and lots of compliments, but I needed to do better. It's definitely been more peaceful in my home and I've been less stressed. They don't behave any better but the spirit can't change my home if I'm keeping him out.